It was only a few weeks ago that Donald Trump made headlines for a dinner with Kanye “Ye” West and white supremacist Nick Fuentes, but now the ex-US president is back in the news for a “major announcement” which instead turned out to be $99 digital trading cards.
Yes, trading cards. Yes, they’re $99 each.
Opening with an animation of Trump as some Superman-like superhero (actually more like Homelander, The Boys antagonist who has “released” his own digital collectible cards), Mr Trump introduced himself in an announcement video as “hopefully your favourite president of all-time” who is “better than Lincoln, better than Washington” – because of course.
“I’m doing my first official Donald J. Trump NFT collection right here and right now, and they’re called Trump Digital Trading Cards. These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. It’s been very exciting,” he said.
Because as we all know, there was a moment in Mr Trump’s life where he became an astronaut, and gained the ability to shoot lasers from his eyes.
Mr Trump – who is also running for president again in 2024 – added they were just like a “baseball card or other collectibles” and make “perfect gifts” for Christmas.
We also wish we were joking when we say the former Apprentice star said the $99 price tag “doesn’t sound like very much for what you’re getting”, with every purchase coming with an “automatic chance” to win dinner with Mr Trump, signed memorabilia, a Zoom call with the former president, or a golf session with him and your friends.
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Except, rather embarrassingly, you can enter such a sweepstake without having to shell out $99, by mailing in an entry instead.
Oh, and the cards are randomly generated once purchased, so you don’t get a say in the design, either.
Somehow, after they were announced on Thursday, the cards – designed by illustrator Clark Mitchell – have since sold out on the official website.
That hasn’t stopped late-night US talk show hosts from ripping into Mr Trump’s latest money-making scheme, with Jimmy Kimmel branding it “QAnon meets QVC” and pointing out “we already have Donald Trump trading cards: they’re called subpoenas”.
Donald Trump’s Pathetic, Embarrassing Announcement & Santa’s Lap or Booster Shot?www.youtube.com
“This is his major announcement: he met someone who does Photoshop. That has to be the most pathetic announcement of all-time,” he said, suggesting that NFT stands for “no effing thanks, Donald”.
The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon used his monologue on Friday’s show to quip: “You know your campaign isn’t going well when your re-election strategy is, ‘maybe people will like me as a Pokémon’.”
A similar joke was cracked by The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert, who suggested one of the trading cards could be called “Pika-coup”.
“He’s a business genius, jumping on the NFT market when it’s at its hottest. Next, he’s releasing an exclusive line of rotary phones,” Colbert said, with copious amounts of sarcasm.
He also claimed the official NFT website was TheSaddestF***ingThingYouveEverSeen.org, which it isn’t, but we’ll leave it to you to find out what lies at that specific website address.
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers of Late Night fame commented: “I don’t care if you’re the biggest Trump fan in the world.
“If, on Christmas morning, you give your spouse a thoughtful gift in a beautifully wrapped box with the bow on it that they get to open and physically hold in their hands, and then they turn around and tell you, ‘your gift isn’t here, it’s a digital trading card of Donald Trump as a sunglass astronaut’, you’re getting a divorce.”
Some might say it’s the thought that counts at this time of year, but you have to question how much thought you’ve given to a Christmas present which costs $99, has no material value and can’t be physically held in any way…
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